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Alf (full nameAlafair) is a sentient Key Deer with the ability to talk who is a patron at The Place. Alf speaks her mind and is often perceived as rude. She is had a red nose which grows when angry or embarassed

She becomes a regular at The Place sometime between Callahan's Key and Callahan's Con. In Callahan's Con it is revealed that she and Ralph von Wau Wau are in a romantic relationship.